Marriage is a complex entity that rarely turns out quite the way you envisioned while making plans and picking out China patterns and wedding dresses. It was so much simpler when it was all on paper and everything matched up perfectly. Real life is never quite so neat and tidy.
Unfortunately, many couples put far more thought into planning the details of their marriage without putting a single thought into what’s going to happen once the vows are made. If you’re getting ready to take your walk down the aisle, keep these mistakes in mind so you can avoid them in your marriage.
Don’t Tell Your Friends about Your Problems
It may seem like the thing to do. Your best friend has been by your side through thick and thin over the years. You want to turn to her as a sounding board for your marital troubles. Unfortunately, there’s a big problem with that. Your friend loves YOU. The jury’s still out on the man you married.
There is a possibility that ageing ruining his confidence. See the impact of growth hormones both on male and female here
If you’re going to her to unload all the negatives, she’s going to hate him on your behalf and never give him or your marriage a real chance. Over time, the strain will become problematic and you’ll either cut ties with your husband (at your friend’s urging) or your friend because she’s just too antagonistic towards the man you love.
Don’t Expect Him to Change
There’s an old saying about men and women and how they view marriage. Men, according to this old saying, find the perfect woman and marry her hoping she’ll never change. Women go out and find a great start and marry him hoping to change him. Unfortunately for you, men are reluctant to change and are often actually hurt by your efforts to force them to change.
If you seriously want change in the marriage or the relationship, it’s best to begin by making positive changes for yourself. He’ll notice those and often want to be part of it, once he decides it’s a change for the better and not simply for the sake of change. But if you go in expecting him to change it’s going to leave you both feeling disappointed and out of sorts.
Don’t Forget to Connect with Your Husband
We nurture many connections in life. We try to build relationships with our children, with our friends, and even with our coworkers. People reach out and connect on social media networks and online message boards in their “after hours”. Connections are more important now than ever before.
And yet so many people fail to reach out and make the connection with the one person who is most important to them. They believe they feel it should somehow be automatic and require no active participation in order to keep going. Nothing could be further from the truth. You have to build the bond with shared activities and experiences if you want the bond of marriage to survive the tests of time.
See the difference… Men get emotional connection through physical intimacy; women enjoy physical connection when she is emotionally connected to her man! Mutual massage is perhaps the better way to get mutual understanding and mutual connection.
These are small mistakes that can really cost your marriage if you allow them to. Avoid making them and you’re sure to have a healthier, happier, and more loving relationship with your husband now and in the years to come.